midlife

(or I hope a little less than midlife ‘cause I plan on living to 100 so John and I can celebrate our 80th wedding anniversary.) Psychologically, this season of life would be termed the mid. My oldest son just turned 21, my middle is 17, I am 47, and we are all trying to figure out what to do next.

In a world of options, knowing one’s bents and knowing what to do with them is a whole ‘nother ball game. Therefore, middle son Ethan and I have enrolled in a Life and Career Planning class at the local j.c. Emerging from our homeschool cocoon and walking onto campus has been educational in itself on what life choices NOT to make. Once in the class, though, we settle into our seats, raise our worldview antennae and revel in the opportunity to learn something new. The professor is young, energetic and loves what he does. Two hours zip by. On the way home, we process over Nuyo.

So what have we come up with so far? After our first personality assessment, Ethan found he is suited to be a Nuclear Power Plant Supervisor and I… a Singing Messenger. Even Nuyo couldn’t help us sort those out! Six class meetings and a Meyers-Briggs test remain; all hope is not lost.

Meanwhile, we are exposed to thought-provoking questions that force us to examine how we are wired. Despite the influence of upbringing, at our core remain God-implanted personality traits, gifts and talents. This class has positioned us to deliberately dig deep to unearth them. Ethan readily identifies his strengths – his seeds are fresh and young. I excavate kernals which were pushed deep inside because they weren’t practical. Dormant, neglected, caked with fear, they are still there. Praise God!

Singing messages is probably not my calling. And I don’t think I’ll have a decided career by the end of class. But I’m getting the feeling that in the middle of midlife, God has something good waiting for this 47.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

big lessons in little people

This year, I’ve spent Sunday evenings on the yellow line with a Sparkie. In a hit-and-run fashion twenty-five minutes a week, we have formed a relationship. Both of us are strong willed and have our opinions. To say my patience hasn’t been tried would be a lie, and I think she would say the same of hers. This year, I may have been her leader, but this year, she has been my teacher. She’s taught me it’s okay to see someone you love across the crowded church patio and wave exuberantly while calling out their name. She’s taught me that girlfriends are meant to be hugged if you’re standing next to them. She’s taught me that a yes means yes, and a no means no…and it’s okay to say so. She’s taught me that sometimes things aren’t as they seem, and patient understanding can open the door to trust and growth. She’s taught me that with support and baby steps, we can accomplish big things. I pray my little friend will always run to win the prize. As she learns to bend her will to the Father’s, I pray it will remain strong in His hands. And I thank God for big lessons in little people.