grace

Lately I've felt like a live bird in a cat's mouth. Sensing the sharp teeth which grasp me (but not tight enough to do me in), I wonder when the white fangs will make their fatal plunge. Then, by some miracle, I am dropped! Heart pounding, I muster the strength to fly to safety shaken, but unharmed.

Being captured many times has tuned my senses to the look, smell and sound of my predator and enabled me to flee to safety before being caught again. Once in the safe place, I feel engulfed by grace that flows over my frantic heart and chaffed spirit and prepares me to give what I am receiving.

Because this safe place is new to me, I find myself blown away by all it contains. With grace, in equal measure comes:
love
and forgiveness
and joy
and strength
and peace
and comfort
and hope
- whatever the need of the moment requires.
I am in awe over the power with which it compells me to go out and give what I have been given.

Even though the cat is serving a purpose, I still hope it will go away soon. And when it finally does, I will wave and thank it for driving me to grace.

do-it-yourself in-grown toenail removal

I'm prone to in-grown toenails. Being a do-it-yourself kinda gal, I've learned how to surgically remove them. It's painful, but has to be done, and is so much better when all behind me.

An in-grown nail is interesting. It willfully and purposefully lives a life seperate from that of its owner (namely me!). It pushes slowly but steadily into the soft flesh of the unsuspecting toe until one day a bump on that toe reveals its unwelcomed existance. At that moment, I am faced with a choice: 1. Extract and suffer the painful consequences yet eventual healing OR 2. Let it alone and suffer the painful consequences and eventual infection. I've tried both and now willingly opt for #1.

Currently I am finding in-grown somethings (don't know what to call them - issues maybe?) in my heart. I know they're there because comments have bumped up against them and I recognize the pain of something that needs to be removed, that doesn't belong. I don't think I can pull these out on my own though. Pictures of Much-Afraid's actions (Hinds Feet on High Places) play in my mind. Take the hand of Suffering and Sorrow...jump...lay down on the alter.

I know what I have to do. Extraction is inevitable and the Surgeon Shepherd is gently calling. I'll probably just push on those areas for a bit to see if they are really that tender, or can they possibly wait. That's an awful big alter, you know.

from a week of scout camp

The Bag boys returned from camp today! Yeeehaaaa!
Gosh it's been a long week and it felt soooo goooood to hold J's hand again.
The first thing both he and E said after getting in the car to start for home was, "Can we have real food tonight?"

E had a great time and we've heard non-stop play by play action of the staff's daily skits and escapades. He finished four merit badges (Go E!) and two partials. Most memorable event was the overnight campout in the handmade shelter for the Wilderness Survival badge. He discovered he is claustrophobic but persevered through the night.

Although camp is not vacation time for J, he enjoys the extended fellowship with the dads. Male bonding. It will take a few days to hear all the tidbits but so far he's revealed the cool Camp Winton t-shirt he snagged for a buck!

From my end of their return home:
It was difficult not to use in one shot the balance of my 2.5 million words I'd reserved for J's return. I'll try to ration them out but I fear the poor guy has his work cut out for him this week!

It was good to hug E! He grew up...again. Deeper voice, taller and looking out for the younger scouts coming behind him. Makes this mama proud.

What I learned this week while J was gone:

In this season of parenting - we NEED to make time for ourselves both as individuals and as a couple. Whew, didn't realize how close to the edge I was this week until my feet slipped from under me. God's grace cleaned up the scrapes but there is a better way.

No more masks. I've said/thought this before but again, while falling over the edge, the point was driven home. Life is between God and me. When others see me, I pray they will see a face tilted upward toward Jesus not a temporary covering up of circumstances.

And lastly, I am going to decorate our bedroom. Currently it looks like the furniture section of Office Depot. So not the oasis we need. Gotta save a little but will start developing the vision.